he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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