Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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