She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
