You're completely useless in the revolution.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
