So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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