I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
