You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
