We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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