just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
