i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
