Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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