We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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