remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize