You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
