Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
