Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
