My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
