I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
