i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize