dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
