I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
