is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
