Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
