I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Are we still banned from the library?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize