Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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