You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
