We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
