My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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