Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
