conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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