How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
