The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize