physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
