you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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