She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
