I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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