i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
