so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He better not be in your backpack
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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