im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
