I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
