We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
