**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
is it fun? or sober?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
