If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
