So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
