Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
