In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm really busy with my period
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