Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
