So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize