So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
