Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
