He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The uberlube is also flammable
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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