he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize