seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize