You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize