It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
