To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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