This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think i got beer on your cat.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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