Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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