I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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